Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Shroud Flash Fiction Contest

Okay, I received an email notifying me that I hadn't made the cut in the Shroud Flash Fiction Contest. My first reaction was WTF? I didn't remember entering. I searched for the story and couldn't find it anywhere. I ended up rumaging around in my sent items folder within Outlook and came up with something titled 'Mad As A Hatter' - I still didn't remember it.

Over on Cate's blog she posted her entry which didn't make the cut which is way better than mine but I figured as she had posted hers, I'd follow suit (I'm not likely to send it anywhere else). Con gratulations to those we know who did make the cut! Excellent news that at least some of our group made it.

So, for what it's worth, for you enjoyment, cringe factor, whatever, I present:

Mad As A Hatter:

Kelly twisted the phone cord around her finger as she perched on the edge of the bed, the dial tone thunderous in her ear. "Pick up, David. I know you're there."

With her free hand she reclaimed the tumbler from the night stand and sipped the amber fluid within, savouring the burn as it slid down her throat.

The dial tone was replaced by David's dulcet tones. "I'm not in right now, but if you leave me a name, a number where I can contact you, the time of your call and a brief message, I'll get back to as soon as possible. Have a nice day."

The high pitched beep announced it was Kelly's turn.

"Pick up the God damn phone, David. I know you're screening your calls. Pick it up or the egg gets it."

The blank silence of the phone recording her message was assaulted with a cacophony of noise as the receiver was picked up. "Kelly? Is that you? What do you mean the egg gets it? What are you talking about?" David's normally dulcet tones had picked up an octave or two.

Kelly smiled as she turned to the large stuffed costume of Humpty lounging beside her on the bed. "I've still got Humpty here, David, and he'll only be able to withstand my rage for so long. And then it'll be your turn."

"Listen you crazy bitch. It's over between us—has been since the May parade. Can't you get that through your sick head?"

Kelly replaced the tumbled on the nightstand and picked up an ornately carved dagger instead. Wrapped around its blade were fine strands of David's hair she'd found inside Humpty's head. "Tell me, David, are you sure you won't borrow the cat costume just one more time? I promise if you do, we can say goodbye properly and I won't bother you again."

"Once was enough with you. You're sick. You need help!"

"How's your leg, David?" She waited long enough for David to pause in trying to grasp what she was talking about before driving the blade into Humpty's leg. A scream on the other end of the line told her she'd hit the mark. With infinite care, she withdrew the knife. "David! Are you there, David?"

"What did you do, bitch?"

Kelly lightly ran the tip of the blade along Humpty's inner thigh. She could hear David swallow close to the receiver. "Remember all those books on Voodoo and black magic you commented on during our afternoon tryst?"

"You're mad—worse, you're delusional."

Kelly gripped the daggers hilt until her knuckles turned white. "You shouldn't say things like that to me. But I'll forgive you if you bring the cat suit around one last time."

"It's not going to happen, Kelly. Accept it. Goodbye!"

The dagger remained poised above Humpty's groin. Kelly flicked a dry tongue across her chapped lips. "I wonder what the Mad Hatter is up to?"


  1. I liked that, it felt like it wanted to be a longer story, but I liked that. Thanks for sharing.

  2. Thanks, Jamie. It probably did want to be a longer story. I think I rattled it off in a sitting ans pretty much sent it in. I can't even remember if I had Pharo look at it, let alone anyone else. As I've been in long story mode for so long now, it probably is more of a scene than a story - which is probably why I didn't get any further.

    Here's hoping you and the sparkly ninja progress, or at least one of you takes home the Humpty Dumpty costume ;c)

  3. Ooh, delightfully nasty! Nice. :)

  4. Hahaha that's just cruel and unusual. I love fun little bites like that, thanks, man! The parting line was great :D