Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Feeling Alone

In my writing that is - I haven't busted with my lovely wife or anything so don't worry about that.

Over the past couple of years, I've been honoured and privileged to gather around me a fairly large group of writers who are now steadfast cyber-friends. When I've hit the writer's block wall - you have been there. You have celebrated my successes and offered consolation at my defeats. Always there has been encouraging words.

Now I'm working on a secret project and haven't been able to to discuss the process with any of you, and I don't feel right about it.

From the very beginning I've written honestly about the writing journey I've been on, more in the hope of dispelling the mysteries and uncovering the pitfalls for those who come after, but with the added benefit of finding like-minded individuals who have empathy for what I'm going through. The whole process has left me feeling warm and fuzzy because of your input into my writing life.

Now some of those friends have presented work for critiquing and comment which I've been unable to provide. Keeping the AHWA market database up to date has been an ever increasingly difficult task as my free time dwindles to almost nothing - I've had to withdraw from this now summer has come and my writing time is seriously squeezed. My reading for HorrorScope has come to a screaming halt. My reading for pleasure is non-existent. My providing interesting writing tips, facts and other things to help new and emerging writers has dried up.

If I could share what I'm doing, allow you all in on the process and, hopefully, allow you to learn what I'm now learning, I wouldn't mind (quite so much) how everything else has ground to a halt (I knew all this would happen when going into this project so I'm fine with it and I know it's only short term). But I'm worried about alienating some of you I have been blessed to call my friend. When the announcement does finally come, as it inevitably must, then this, and other concerns won't disappear, so I'm considering just releasing the proverbial cat from the bag on early parole. Kind of like ripping off the band-aid and allowing any pain to dissipate early - well, that's the theory...

This blog has become very much my writing journal as well as a way to disseminate writing knowledge, tips and other authorial goodness from one who is learning as they go. This post is no different. It is me, thinking while I type, or rather, typing what I'm thinking; allowing it to settle straight in my head before I shoot off at the mouth.

I've put the question to a significant other involved in this secret project and wait to hear what they think before announcing anything further - if anything at all at this time.

There are also very selfish reasons behind me wanting to spill the beans, most of which I can't divulge here without giving too much away. Besides, I'm not very good at keeping secrets like this. I'm the type of guy who thinks that it will all be announced at some point so why not just do it now?

So please bear with me a little longer.


  1. You know that we're all behind you, no matter what you decide, BT.

    It seems inevitable that you would hit a 'brick wall' with all of the things that you have on the go. You will no doubt have to prioratize and maybe delegate to others in the AHWA.

    That's the scariest picture I've seen in a long time.

  2. You're getting a sex change, aren't you? It's always the ones you least expect.

  3. First off, coffee all over my keyboard now thanks to the brilliant, Natalie.

    Second, we'll still love you even if you keep secrets from us, but remember, you wife might not. :D

  4. All sounds very intriguing, but spill when the time is right.

  5. Well, I'm having a sex change, and I'm not telling anyone about it.

    Look, guilt's a killer, so it's none of our businesses until you're ready to divulge.

    Suspense is fun . . . I think we'd all agree you're worth the wait, mate.

  6. So long as you're not starting your own print magazine! hehe.

    Kidding! Can't wait to see what you get up to.

  7. the mystery is fun for me. I can come up with all sorts of outragious things for you to be doing (Although Nat's is much better than anything I had come up with).

  8. I like secrets. And you are not alone.

  9. Like the others up there, I love secrets. It's rough, not being able to tell your own community of friends about a project that really excites you-- I have only the smallest experience with it myself, and that was enough to tell me. But it doesn't look like alienation is a threat-- and I can say for sure it isn't with me!

  10. The mystery makes popping in to read even more compelling. Do what you need to do - we're all still going to be here (puddles of drool forming at our feet) when you're ready. ;)

  11. I like Natalie's suggestion the best. :)

  12. I should have known I couldn't keep a secret from you, Nat! Outed before my time...

    But seriously - no, I mean really, I'm being serious now, not before...

    Thank you. There really is nothing in the world like the friendship you get from a bunch of writers. Where else would you gain support and understanding from people you've never met face-to-face, after telling them pretty much nothing but how you're feeling.

    Without doubt - you guys rock!

  13. Ahh, the suspense is killing me.

    Go, Natalie.